


The Universal Human Experience

by TheseusInTheMaze



Category: jacksepticeye, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: ABDL, Adult Baby Diaper Love, Age Play, Caregiver/little, Caretaking, Diapers, Frotting, M/M, Pants wetting, Praise Kink, nonsexual age play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-10 10:10:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11689476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze
Summary: Jack just needs torelax. He finds a good way to do it, but he worries that Mark will judge him for it.





	The Universal Human Experience

**Author's Note:**

> Edited by the ever lovely Angel!

"You sure you're gonna be alright?" 

Mark shot Jack a concerned look.

"Mmm?"

Jack rubbed his eyes, leaning back into his chair and yawning. 

His dinner was half-finished in front of him, and he was bouncing his leg irritably, clearly restless. 

"You look kinda... on edge," said Mark.

"I'll be fine," said Jack. "If I'm really honest, I think I just need to have some time to myself."

He smiled at Mark, a bit nervously.

It had been nice, moving in with Mark.

It made it a lot more affordable to live in LA, for one thing.

For another, it was nice to have some built in company.

But Jack was used to having a decent amount of time to himself, so having company was going to take a little bit getting used to.

And today had just been _frustrating_ , practically on the molecular level. 

He'd go to his room, watch some television, then go to sleep.

"I understand," Mark said, his face sympathetic. "Anything I can do to help?"

"Just not be mad at me for wanting some alone time?" 

That came out without much thought, and Jack blushed. 

"Um," he said. "Not that I think you'd be mad or anything. Or that you're not allowed to be mad, if you don't want to be mad."

"No, I'll be fine," said Mark, and he grinned. "Me and Chica can go back to living the bachelor life."

"What, so when it's you and me it isn't a bachelor life?"

"Well, no, but you know what I mean, right?"

Jack rolled his eyes, chuckling.

He felt a little better already. 

* * *

Jack lay on his bed, flat on his stomach, going idly through his media collection.

He didn't want to play a game - his hands were a bit sore already, and he kind of wanted to turn his brain off.

And then he came across a kiddy show - one from his childhood. 

It was the one with the clown, and all the little sketch shows. 

"Huh."

He hadn't expected that - why would he have downloaded _this_ show of all things?

But he put it on anyway, because he needed to turn his brain off a little bit, and he pulled his blanket over his head, starting up an episode.

* * *

He didn't realize when he had started to suck his thumb - his eyes were half closed, and there was a loud noise from downstairs. 

He yanked his thumb out of his mouth really fast, and he was blushing, as if someone could see him.

And then he realized that nobody else was here, and he felt better when he sucked his thumb anyway.

There wasn't anyone else around to see him do it - he'd gotten out of the habit when he was little, after much work from both his parents and his brothers.

He chuckled a bit to himself - all that work they'd put into this, and here he was back at it, some twenty-something years later. 

And then he put his thumb back in his mouth, and clicked on the next episode.

Fuck it. 

He needed the relaxation. 

* * * 

It wasn't until two weeks later, when he woke up with his thumb in his mouth again, that he realized that maybe he was going a little farther down whatever rabbit hole he had started at.

The worst part was, Mark was starting to notice. 

"Dude," said Mark, glancing down at Jack's hand. "Are you okay?"

"Hm?"

Jack, still bleary in the early morning, was trying to get his brain to work in a coherent fashion. 

"Your thumb. It's all pink, and it's got, like, an indent in it."

"Why are you paying so much attention to my thumb?"

"Well, I find the rest of you cute," Mark teased, "so why not pay attention to the other bits?"

Jack laughed, rolling his eyes at Mark. 

They'd been kinda-sorta flirting.

How much of it was a joke and how much of it was serious?

Who even knew!

But Jack was beginning to get butterflies when Mark started in on that, and they were going to have to... talk soon.

But soon.

Not now.

For now, he was going to just enjoy whatever it was. 

"I'll be fine," Jack said, shoving his hand into his pocket. 

"If you say so," said Mark. "I dunno. I was worried it was, like, thumb cancer, or something like that."

"What the hell?" Jack laughed. "Thumb cancer isn't a real thing!"

"It's totally a real thing," said Mark.

"Well, I'll keep an eye out for it," said Jack. "I can't exactly be an LPer if I'm lacking a thumb."

"Exactly," said Mark, and he gave Jack a thumbs up.

Jack burst out laughing.

* * *

And now, Jack was in a pharmacy, looking back and forth nervously.

This made the most sense.

It would keep his thumb from looking too weird, and it was probably more sanitary, considering all the gross shit that his hands got into on a day to day basis. 

So why did he feel so... dirty?

But fuck it. Nobody was going to care.

Eyes darting left and right, and he reached out and grabbed a pacifier off of the display.

They came in little groups of two, and one of them had a sleepy moon printed on the shield. The other one had a dinosaur.

He smiled a bit in spite of himself when he saw it, and he shuffled nervously to the check out, grabbing a candy bar so that he didn't come off as some weirdo who was getting off by sucking pacifiers or something.

... was he getting off to it?

No, he didn't really get horny. 

Sometimes his head got a little... hazy, but that was a different thing, right? It was a nice kind of haziness - he'd get comfortable, and everything would go a little bit away, like a lens that had been smeared with vaseline. 

... minus the implications of that, obviously. 

Jack sighed gustily, getting back into his car, the plastic bag with the pacifiers shoved into his back pocket. 

* * *

He didn’t open the little clamshell case until he was in his room, after dinner, having turned in for the night. 

He pulled it open, carefully, and he took the pacifier with the sleepy moon out.

The packaging proclaimed it for “6+ months,” which he did fall into, even if it was by a… large margin. 

The pacifier's nipple felt odd against his front teeth - like it was pushing them, almost.

It tasted rubbery, and it was soft, if a bit stiff, against his tongue. 

When was the last time he'd had a dummy in his mouth, anyway?

Probably when he was three?

He was the baby of the family, so he was allowed that kind of thing a bit longer than everyone else was. 

He pulled it further into his mouth, sucking on it, his eyes going half mast as he leaned back against his pillows. 

This was... this was nice.

This was surprisingly nice, in a way that he hadn't expected it to be, although he wasn't entirely sure what he had been expecting in the first place.

The anxiety was still just around the corner - he was painfully aware of how... well, dumb he looked. 

Here was a grown man, sucking on a dummy like some kind of creepy pervert, like the ones you saw on the older talk shows.

But fuck it. 

He was living in the age of the fidget spinner, where people fiddled with things to help them think, and they even made necklaces for chewing on! 

So why not a pacifier?

Anyway, it wasn't like he was doing it in public.

Maybe he could claim he was going back to his bygone days of being a raver, although he doubted that anyone would ever believe him. 

Or would they?

He'd have to ask Mark, at some point. 

But that was a worry for a different time. For now, he was going to lie here, and he was going to watch more of his weird childhood television, until he felt more like an actual human being, and stopped worrying about what he looked like.

* * *

It took him almost an hour, until the pacifier felt normal, until his eyes were at half mast, and he was twisting his own hair around and around his own finger, tugging on it gently, the ends rough against the pads of his fingers. 

He giggled as a particularly weird bit of stop motion happened, and he pressed his legs together, warmth beginning to spread across his thigh.

... wait a minute.

"Shit!" 

Jack shoved his laptop off of his chest, got out of bed fast enough that he almost fell out. 

He was pissing.

He was pissing and pissing, soaking into his pajama pants, onto the floor, all over his feet. 

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" 

Jack's pacifier had slipped out of his mouth, and he grabbed between his legs, in an attempt to stem the flow. 

"... Jack? You okay?"

"I'm fine," said Jack, clenching. 

He wasn't going to piss anymore. 

Goddamn it. 

He... hadn't thought of that. 

He hadn't thought of having to worry about pissing himself, let alone that he would piss himself.

Admittedly, he did used to piss himself a little longer than other people did, but... he stopped at a point that was pretty normal. 

As he thought about it. 

"You sure? You sound pretty upset."

"I'm fine," Jack said again. "Just, uh... just a bit... I'll be fine. Spilled some stuff. Gonna have to do some laundry." 

He laughed uneasily. 

"Well, uh... sounds good," said Mark. "Good luck with your laundry!" 

"Thanks," Jack called through his door.

* * * 

He ended up mopping up the puddle with his pajama pants, and tossing them into a bag, dropping it into his laundry basket, then dumped the whole lot of it into the washing machine. 

He took his laundry basket into the shower with him, and he washed it, to keep the piss smell off.

He got away with all of it, amazingly.

As far as he could tell.

So it would work. 

Mark would never know.

* * *

It continued for almost three months - Jack even brought a pacifier into his studio, for him to relax to between videos.

He was very careful that Mark would never find it, because... well....

Truth be told, he wasn't entirely sure _why_ he didn’t want Mark to know, except that it would be too weird. 

He also... well, this bit was more embarrassing, but he also got diapers. 

Actual diapers, medical grade ones, that he had to order online.

He had them delivered to his PO box, and he snuck them in like a kid sneaking in dirty magazines, hiding them under his bed.

He even put himself in one a few times, because... well, what was the point of having them, if not to wear them?

* * *

The first time he put one on, the shame was bad enough that he took it - no, _ripped _it - off, and threw it out in a plastic bag.__

__He threw out his pacifiers as well, although he regretted it almost as soon as he did it._ _

__"I need to talk to other people," Jack told his laptop, lacking anyone else to talk to._ _

__Maybe he'd even talk to Mark about it, although that would be... it felt like it would be weird._ _

__Because Mark was his friend, and okay, maybe there was some... complicated flirting going on, but there's a difference between "joking" about wanting to kiss each other, versus, well...._ _

__"Hi Mark," Jack mumbled to himself, staring down at the bag of diapers, which he'd put on his bed. "I know that we kinda wanna bone each other, but before we do, you should know that I'm a freak who likes to wear diapers."_ _

__He groaned, covering his face with both hands._ _

__This was all bullshit._ _

__Pure and utter bullshit._ _

__And he missed his pacifier, just to make it even better._ _

__He shouldn't have thrown it out, even if he had been embarrassed by the fact that he was using it in the first place._ _

__* * *_ _

__It all came to a head a few nights later._ _

__Jack had been drinking._ _

__That was the real problem, honestly._ _

__Jack couldn't hold his liquor for shit, and Jack knew it, and he knew that Mark knew it._ _

__But Wade had left them some kind of fancy whiskey, probably forgetting that Mark couldn't drink, and Jack had been in a Mood, so why not, right?_ _

__He started at his glass, where his whiskey and lemonade swirled, and then he took a slug of it._ _

__It was his third glass._ _

__He leaned against Mark, close enough that it had... well, it was veering into inappropriate territory._ _

__Mark had an arm around Jack, cautiously, and Jack was leaning against Mark - he could hear Mark's heartbeat thudding._ _

__"You know," Mark said, his tone casual, "I'd kinda like to kiss you right now."_ _

__Jack blinked up at Mark blearily, trying to formulate what it was that Mark was saying._ _

__"What, like kissing kissing?"_ _

__"What other kinds of kissing are there?"_ _

__"I dunno," said Jack. "Maybe you mean friend kissing."_ _

__"It could be friend kissing, if you wanted it to be," said Mark, although when Jack glanced up, he saw the disappointment on Mark's face. "But it could be other stuff, too. Other kinds of kissing."_ _

__"So what differentiates friend kissing from other kinds of kissing?"_ _

__Jack sat up, and he only swayed a bit._ _

__He needed to piss, badly, and he wished that he had one of his diapers on._ _

__... welp._ _

__That was fucked up._ _

__He sighed gustily, and he took another big swig of his drink._ _

__"Well, I mean, we're friends, obviously," said Mark. "But... if we kissed, it might be a more than friends kiss. A friends with benefits kiss."_ _

__"Being friends with me has _lots_ of benefits," said Jack, and he burst out laughing. _ _

__"Well, how about dating you?" Mark shot back, and then he turned pale. "Um. I mean...."_ _

__"You don't wanna date me," Jack said, in a burst of candor._ _

__"No? Why not?"_ _

__"Because... because I'm gross," said Jack._ _

__And now the shame was crashing down, a lump of hot metal that was slowly being forced down his throat, into his gut._ _

__"I don't think you're gross," said Mark. "I think you're awesome."_ _

__"I'm super gross. I'm disgusting," said Jack. "You most definitely don't wanna date me."_ _

__"What makes you so disgusting? Do you have two assholes or something?"_ _

__Jack paused, his self pity derailed._ _

__"... why would two assholes be a thing to be disgusting?"_ _

__"I mean," said Mark, "there'd be a lot more shit, which tends to result in stuff being a lot more disgusting. Do you have two assholes?"_ _

__"I don't have two assholes," Jack said. "I... I have a weird... thing."_ _

__"Like a fetish?"_ _

__"I dunno," Jack said honestly._ _

__Why were they talking about this?_ _

__Oh god._ _

__The anxiety was building up, and he might vomit, and he couldn't do that, because he just... couldn't._ _

__"So you don't know you have it, or you don't know if it's a fetish?"_ _

__"Both? I dunno."_ _

__"I had a girlfriend with a fetish," Mark said, out of the blue._ _

__"Yeah? What kind of fetish?"_ _

__"She liked it when I sucked on her toes, or kissed her feet. She liked to put them on my face, or to step on me."_ _

__"Is that a fetish? Or just someone who's, like, super foot obsessed?"_ _

__"At what point does someone go from being super foot obsessed to being someone with a foot fetish?"_ _

__"Well, I don't have a foot fetish," said Jack. "It's grosser than that."_ _

__"How do you know I'll think it's gross?"_ _

__"Because it _is_ gross. And weird!"_ _

__"You wanna tell me what it is?"_ _

__"... you'll hate me."_ _

__There was a lump in Jack's throat, making it difficult to swallow, and he was starting to tear up, which was fucking weird, and very much not what he would usually do._ _

__That wasn't the kind of guy he was._ _

__The kind of person he was._ _

__But it was happening nonetheless, tears tracking down his face, to puddle on his chin._ _

__"I won't hate you," Mark said, and his voice was... sweet. Kind. "I mean, unless you've done something really horrible."_ _

__"... I wear diapers," said Jack._ _

__"What?"_ _

__"Diapers. Adult diapers. I wear them."_ _

__"Oh."_ _

__Mark looked... nonplussed, and Jack shrank further into himself._ _

__"So do you, like, jerk off into them? Or do you just wear them?"_ _

__"I... I piss in them sometimes," said Jack. "I know there's something wrong with me, I'm gonna go talk to a shrink about it."_ _

__"I don't think there's anything wrong with you," said Mark, slowly. "I mean, it's... weird, but I don't think it's bad, necessarily."_ _

__"What, really?"_ _

__"I mean, do you need them?"_ _

__"... sort of?"_ _

__"How do you sort of need diapers?"_ _

__"Sometimes when I'm really trying to relax, like... I use... other stuff, and when I use the other stuff I sometimes piss."_ _

__"What kinda other stuff?"_ _

__Mark was looking confused._ _

__Jack pulled himself completely upright, so that he could make - or avoid - eye contact with Mark, without Mark's deep voice buzzing through his head._ _

__And he was still swaying with dizziness._ _

__"I... binkies. I like binkies. And I'll watch, um... I'll watch a show. A show I used to watch. When I was very little. And it helps me calm down, but I know it's fucked up, because it's so gross."_ _

__"A binkie as in a pacifier?"_ _

__"Yeah." He glanced up at Mark, out of the corner of his eye. "Although I threw them out - I kinda realized how... weird it was, to be doing that kinda shit."_ _

__"I don't think it's weird," said Mark, and he shrugged._ _

__"How is it not weird? I'm a grown ass man who likes to use dummies and wear nappies! Didn't they do an episode of, like, CSI about that?"_ _

__"They did episodes about a lot of things," Mark pointed out. "I think that you're worrying too much about this stuff."_ _

__"How can I not? I know I'm a freak." Jack took a deep breath. "But I figured... I could sell what's left of the diapers online, since I only wore one of them, and I didn't even use it."_ _

__"So you don't really wear diapers, you wore a diaper once," said Mark._ _

__"I... guess? But that kinda seems like splitting hairs at this point."_ _

__Mark cautiously put a hand on top of Jack's head, resting it amongst the green._ _

__"I think that you're worrying about this too much," Mark told Jack. "And I still want to kiss you."_ _

__"Even knowing what kinda freak I am?"_ _

__"I don't think you're a freak about that," said Mark. "You're a freak because you like pineapple on pizza."_ _

__"No, you're a freak for missing how _awesome_ it is," Jack said, some of his old pep returning in spite of himself. _ _

__“Well,” said Mark, “I don’t think you’re a freak for the diaper thing.” He shrugged, laughing a little bit nervously. “I mean, it’s… weird, but everything is weird, in the right light, and it’s not like you’re hurting anyone.”_ _

__“I worry… I worry it makes me a pedophile,” Jack admitted. “Or, like… stunted. Sick in the head.”_ _

__“You’re not sick in the head,” said Mark. “Or stunted. Or immature or any of that.” He leaned back into the couch, crossing his arms across his chest. “It’s… it’s an interest. I mean, would you feel as weird if you had a thing for feet?”_ _

__“But that’s… part of it,” said Jack. “It’s not even that I’ve got a… a thing for diapers, like, a sexual thing for them. Or maybe I do and I just don’t know about it. But I’m not even using the weird thing to get a boner, for the most part, I’m just using the weird thing to… relax, in some sort of way.”_ _

__“Does it make you feel good?”_ _

__“Well, yeah. It’s why I do it. And I guess why I’m so damn guilty about it.”_ _

__“Then I don’t see the harm in it.”_ _

__“... I shouldn’t have thrown out my dummies,” said Jack._ _

__“Dummies? Like, ventriloquist dummies?” Mark looked nervous. “Because when you moved in, I instituted the “no evil satanic things” rule.”_ _

__“What’s wrong with them? I’m sure they can be very nice,” said Jack, his tone teasing._ _

__Mark gave a full body shiver, and Jack laughed._ _

__“No,” he said sternly._ _

__“Fine, fine,” said Jack. “Ruin all my fun.”_ _

__“So dummies?”_ _

__“Pacifiers. Binkies.”_ _

__“Oh…,” said Mark. “Why’d you throw them out?”_ _

__“Well, like… they make me feel nice,” said Jack. “But not, like… not in a sexual way. I’m not used to things like that just being… nice, like….” Jack made an annoyed face, covering his face with both hands. “It’s fuckin’ complicated.”_ _

__“So it makes you feel nice, just not… horny?”_ _

__“Yeah. My head goes all fuzzy, and I relax really hard.”_ _

__“Of course you’d do hardcore relaxing,” said Mark. “You can’t just do relaxing. You gotta do _hardcore_ relaxing.” _ _

__Jack blushed, and Mark caught his expression._ _

__“No, no, I’m kidding.” He put his hands on Jack’s shoulders, and Jack’s heart… sang._ _

__“What?”_ _

__“I’m kidding,” Mark said. “I mean, some people relax by doing drugs, or drinking. In the long run, there’s nothing wrong with wearing diapers or sucking on a binkie or… whatever. It’s all relaxing.”_ _

__“I just… threw them out because… it’s all so weird, you know?”_ _

__“You didn’t need to, though.”_ _

__“Are you sure?”_ _

__He glanced over at Jack, his expression thoughtful._ _

__“You know, there’s a twenty four hour pharmacy just two blocks away,” Mark said, his expression borderline conspiratorial. “We could… uh, I mean, you could, if you wanted… get another one?”_ _

__“Would you wanna come with me for it?”_ _

__That… was unexpected._ _

__Why would he want to do that?_ _

__“If it’s okay,” said Jack. “If it’s not too… weird.”_ _

__Mark shrugged._ _

__“I twerked in a pink mustache,” he pointed out._ _

__“... fair enough,” said Jack._ _

__* * *_ _

__Jack was shy getting into the car, although he wasn’t sure why._ _

__He let Mark drive - he wasn’t sure where the place was, and anyway, this was all just… strange._ _

__His weird… fetish that wasn’t a fetish was a thing that Mark was apparently okay with, and was even going so far as to enable it._ _

__“So… would you wanna get anything else?”_ _

__“I think I need to get a new toothbrush. Mine is kinda going flat.”_ _

__“Maybe if you didn’t brush your teeth like you were mad at them,” Mark said. “But that’s not exactly what I meant.”_ _

__“What did you mean?”_ _

__“Well,” said Mark, and now he was blushing. “I, uh… I don’t know much about the whole ABDL thing -”_ _

__“ABDL? Isn’t that the weird subculture of adults who wear nappies and... oh.”_ _

__“I mean, if you don’t wanna go by that, then that’s okay,” Mark said quickly._ _

__“How do you know about that stuff, anyway?”_ _

__“I just… know a few people like that, you know?”_ _

__“You do?”_ _

__“Well, I don’t know them know them,” said Mark, “but I like to… you know, read up on the less usual stuff.”_ _

__“Why?”_ _

__“Certain things are just… interesting, you know? There are some neat things out there. I’ve seen people who are into balloons, or into inflation, stuff like that.”_ _

__“... I repeat, why?”_ _

__“Because when I get my night terrors, sometimes I wanna read up on something that’s harmless,” said Mark._ _

__“Fair,” said Jack. “I’m sorry.”_ _

__So he was a jerk._ _

__“Nah, it’s fine,” said Mark. “I know you read up on computer parts when you’re dealing with insomnia.”_ _

__“Lately I’ve just been watching Bosco,” Jack mumbled._ _

__“What’s Bosco?”_ _

__“It’s this weird children’s show from when I was growing up, it had this… puppet clown thing, and it had a budget of, like, pocket lint and a stick of gum.”_ _

__“So it makes you feel nice to watch it?”_ _

__“Yeah,” said Jack, and he blushed._ _

__“Then that’s all that matters, right?”_ _

__“I guess,” said Jack. “Although I feel like I should be watching better stuff than fucking… low budget children’s shows.”_ _

__Mark shrugged._ _

__“There was this public television show, in Hawaii when I was growing up,” said Mark. “I don’t remember most of it, except that there was a… I think it was a basset hound? And it was supposed to be from outer space, except it’s not outer space, the guy just had a colander on his head.”_ _

__“Maybe low budget children’s shows are just a universal thing, regardless of where in the world it is.”_ _

__"Universal human experience is having puppets telling you to brush your teeth," said Mark._ _

__Jack grinned, and then he was laughing, belly laughing, laughing so hard that it almost hurt._ _

__Mark looked back at him, a bit confused, but he laughed back as they pulled back into the parking lot of the pharmacy._ _

__Jack paused, before getting out._ _

__"So, um." He cleared his throat. "What do you want to get?"_ _

__"I was thinking maybe...." Mark was blushing. "Well, if you like some of the kiddie stuff, maybe you'd feel better trying other stuff?"_ _

__"Like what?"_ _

__"Well," said Mark. "We could get you a sippy cup, if you'd like?" Then he was grinning again. "I mean, if nothing else, it'll definitely help me save on having to clean up all those messes that you leave."_ _

__Jack stuck his tongue out at Mark._ _

__Mark stuck his tongue out at Jack._ _

__Jack was struck with the intense, terrifying urge to kiss Mark, right in the car._ _

__That... that was scarier than the whole diaper thing, honestly._ _

__Holy fuck._ _

__Okay._ _

__"You okay, Jack?" Mark shot him a concerned expression._ _

__"Yeah, I'm fine," Jack said, and he shoved his hands in his pockets, making his way into the pharmacy. "If you want... if you wanna get me anything, you're welcome to," he said. Then he laughed. "Wow, I sound like a jerk. I'm sorry!"_ _

__"It's all good," said Mark. "It's kinda what I expect from a Little anyway."_ _

__"A Little?"_ _

__"Oh." Mark rubbed the back of his neck, looking sheepish. "I, um... I might know more about this stuff than I let on originally."_ _

__"Evidently," said Jack, raising an eyebrow. "You sure this isn't a thing for you?"_ _

__"I mean," Mark said, "I do like caretaking, so that's... it's been an interest to me. In the past. Not necessarily in a sexual way, but I've been... you know, curious."_ _

__"Fair enough," said Jack._ _

__"But we can look at the stuff together," Mark said, as they trooped through the long, meandering aisle._ _

__The light was too bright, and they could have been on the moon, for all that Jack knew._ _

__It was all... very far away._ _

__Impulsively, he reached over and grabbed Mark's hand._ _

__Mark looked down at their hands, surprised, but he squeezed Jack's fingers as they made their way towards the baby aisle._ _

__* * *_ _

__Jack bought a new set of pacifiers, these ones with little rainbows on the shield. He was blushing as he picked up the little container of baby powder, but fuck it, he'd forgotten it the first time._ _

__Mark picked up a sippy cup printed with little dancing turtles._ _

__Jack tried not to stare at it, as they made their way to the check out._ _

__Mark's hand slid into Jack's, nervously, and Jack held on to it._ _

__As weird as all of this was, at least Mark was with him, right?_ _

__"Do you like to color?"_ _

__"... I don't know," Jack said. "I mean, I know it's the in thing to do right now, when it comes to relaxation, but... it always looks kinda tedious."_ _

__"Well, maybe it'll help you when you're Little," said Mark, and he snagged an adult coloring book, and some colored pencils._ _

__"There you go again mentioning that "Little" stuff. What does that mean?"_ _

__"I'll explain in a minute," said Mark, indicating the checkout lady._ _

__"Right," said Jack, and he laughed, anxiety bubbling in his gut like so much bile._ _

__* * *_ _

__"So what you've been describing sounds like you're a Little," said Mark. "Which is... like, you know how you like to suck on pacifiers and watch kiddie shows, and maybe wear diapers?"_ _

__"Yeah?"_ _

__They were driving back, and it was very quiet in the car._ _

__Jack had the plastic bag in his lap, and would pass his fingers over the clamshell plastic of the pacifiers._ _

__"There's this whole community who call themselves Littles. I... I mean, I've been interested in being a Big, but I dunno if that'd be too... much, you know? For you. To just spring on you. Especially since we're not dating or anything like that."_ _

__"We could be," said Jack. "Dating, I mean."_ _

__"Wouldn't there be more buildup than that?"_ _

__"What do you mean, more buildup than that?" Jack raised an eyebrow. "As if we haven't been flirting for how long?"_ _

__"Well, okay, yeah, we do flirt a lot," Mark admitted, "but I'm not sure if I'm... ready for something like dating. But I'd be willing to do this Little stuff with you."_ _

__"Are you going to be getting your kinky rocks off while doing this stuff?"_ _

__"Probably not," said Mark. "I mean, maybe? But I wouldn't involve you in it, if it was. Since you don't seem comfortable with the idea."_ _

__Jack nodded._ _

__"Okay," he said slowly. "I can live with that."_ _

__"Live with what?"_ _

__"The whole Big/Little thing," said Jack. "If you wanted to try doing that with me, I mean."_ _

__"I'd love to," Mark said, too quickly, and Jack froze. "As a friend, I mean," Mark said quickly. "I mean...."_ _

__Mark groaned, and he pressed his face into the steering wheel as they stopped at a red light. "I'm fucking this up."_ _

__"At least we're both fucking it up," Jack said, in what he hoped was a cheerful tone of voice._ _

__"Fair enough," Mark said, his voice muffled._ _

__* * *_ _

__When they got back, Jack hesitated, then flopped back onto the couch with Mark._ _

__He left the bag from the pharmacy on the kitchen table, because that was a thing he was going to face later._ _

__For now, he was going to watch television with Mark, his feet up on the coffee table, his eyes at half mast._ _

__"You can, um... you can lean on me. If you'd like," said Mark. He patted his chest, gently._ _

__Jack leaned in, because Mark was big and warm, and he was beginning to come down from all the emotional tumult, which left him exhausted and a bit loopy in the head._ _

__He didn't know when his thumb got into his mouth - around the time when Jon Snow began to complain about something or other - but then Mark was stroking his hair, and when Jack glanced up, he saw that Mark was looking down at him with a tender expression._ _

__Jack flushed, and made to sit up, but Mark made soothing noises, pulling Jack closer, almost like he was a plushie._ _

__"It's okay," said Mark, in a gentle voice. "It's all okay."_ _

__Jack sighed, a full body sigh, and he let his head rest on Mark's chest entirely, taking in the sound of Mark's heart beat, his eyes drifting closed as relaxation sank into his bones like heat._ _

__"There you go," Mark said. "Isn't that better?"_ _

__Jack nodded, his thumb in his mouth._ _

__Mark kept stroking his hair, and Jack dozed off._ _

__* * *_ _

__They fell into a bit of a routine - two or three days out of every week, Jack would crowd close to Mark on the couch, or start sucking his thumb when they were at the dinner table._ _

__Then Mark would fuss over Jack - get him a sippy cup, or bring him a pacifier._ _

__Surprisingly, it was Jack who brought up the diaper thing, after the third week of this._ _

__"Um," said Jack, and he was looking down at the table, drumming his fingers on the surface of it. "This is gonna be kinda awkward."_ _

__"What kinda awkward?"_ _

__"Well," said Jack, "um, when I... I've nearly pissed myself. A few times. I was wondering if maybe you'd be okay if I diapered myself? The next time we do Little stuff."_ _

__"I'd be okay with that," said Mark. "I could diaper you as well, if you'd like?"_ _

__"I dunno. I feel like it might be a little... weird, you know?" Jack laughed, nervous._ _

__"What kind of weird?"_ _

__"Well," said Jack, "not to put too fine a point on it, you'd be touching my junk. My bait and tackle. My dick."_ _

__"I know what junk means, Jack," Mark said, in a long suffering tone of voice. "You don't have to roll out all the synonyms."_ _

__"But where's the fun in that?"_ _

__Mark rolled his eyes._ _

__"I'm fine touching your bits if you're fine with your bits being touched," said Mark._ _

__"... I can live with that," said Jack. "But... would it be okay if you waited for me to get, like, all foggy headed? Otherwise I feel like it's gonna be weird, because, like, I'll be a grown ass adult who's getting diapered, and I _know_ that it's gonna be weird."_ _

__Mark nodded._ _

__"Anything I can do to help you get there?"_ _

__"... can we color?"_ _

__"Certainly," said Mark. "Do you want your binkie?"_ _

__"... yes," said Jack, and he was still blushing, as Mark took away his plate._ _

__* * *_ _

__He got his binkie._ _

__Mark even pinned it to his shirt, with the special clip he'd dug up somewhere._ _

__The clip was a ribbon, printed with little turtles, to match the sippy cup._ _

__Jack sucked on his pacifier, and he colored, mapping out a rainbow on a tiger, until it looked like a rejected Lisa Frank picture._ _

__And he made himself relax - at this point, he could do that, make his whole body sag forward, leaving him sleepy and pliable._ _

__He didn't realize just how relaxed he was, until the familiar warmth was dripping down his leg, soaking into the crotch of his pants._ _

__"Mark?"_ _

__His voice was Little - actually Little, hesitant and cute, in a way that he was still getting used to, since it did that on its own._ _

__"What's up?"_ _

__"Mark, I had an accident," said Jack, his voice sweet and shy._ _

__"What happened?"_ _

__Mark crouched in front of Jack, his hands on Jack's shoulders to keep his balance._ _

__"What kind of accident?"_ _

__"... might have wet my pants," Jack mumbled, avoiding eye contact._ _

__"Maybe?"_ _

__"Maybe."_ _

__"Well," said Mark, and he was using his Big voice, "how about you stand up, and we can check?"_ _

__"Am I in trouble?" Jack asked in a small voice._ _

__"You are very much not in trouble," Mark promised. "You gonna be a good boy and stand up for me?"_ _

__"Okay, Mark," said Jack._ _

__He pushed the chair back, and he stood up._ _

__There was indeed a wet patch in his pants, going down to his leg, and he flushed, looking down at his feet, which were damp around the ankles._ _

__Mark tsked._ _

__"Let's get you cleaned up," he told Jack._ _

__* * *_ _

__Which was how Jack found himself lying flat on his back on his own bed, bare below the waist, a towel under his butt, as Mark wiped along his leg with a baby wipe._ _

__He was sucking on the pacifier, probably harder than he needed to, and he was keeping his eyes closed, so that he didn't have to think about what was happening, because if he thought about it too hard he might have a panic attack._ _

__Not even because he didn't want to have it happen, it was just all... it was very different, it was scary, in its own way, and he wanted to be okay with it._ _

__So he evened his breath out, chest rising and falling, letting Mark's quiet voice wash over him._ _

__"We're gonna get you cleaned up, and then you can color in the living room, and I can clean up the chair, and after that maybe you can have some juice. How does that sound?"_ _

__Jack gave a thumbs up._ _

__Mark paused._ _

__"Jack?"_ _

__Jack peeked out from behind his fingers._ _

__"You okay in there?"_ _

__Another thumbs up._ _

__"Can you talk?"_ _

__Jack shrugged._ _

__"Okay," said Mark. "That's okay."_ _

__Jack was naked, from the waist down, and the air was cold on his damp thighs, and on his groin._ _

__His toes were curling, and his hands were covering his face, as he tugged on his own hair, trying to relax even more._ _

__It was comfortable._ _

__It was... eerie, how comfortable it was, how much he just wanted to keep doing this - being taken care of by Mark._ _

__"Okay," said Mark, and he was pulling Jack up by the ankles, so that his butt was off of the towel._ _

__Jack made a surprised noise, letting go of his face to stare at Mark, as Mark carefully put the unfolded diaper under Jack._ _

__"This is possibly gonna have a learning curve," said Mark._ _

__"A learning curve?"_ _

__Jack broke out of his silence, and he was giving Mark a Look._ _

__"The last person I diapered was a lot smaller than you are," said Mark._ _

__"Who was the last person that you diapered?"_ _

__"One of my cousins," said Mark. "Now... powder."_ _

__“Powder?”_ _

__The pacifier had fallen out of Jack’s mouth, and now this was getting a lot more awkward, because his mouth wasn’t occupied, and if his mouth wasn’t being occupied, he could think too hard about how ridiculous this was._ _

__But Mark was powdering him, and Mark’s hands were on his cock, powdering around it, and then Mark’s hands were positioning his dick so that it was pointing downwards._ _

__Then Mark was taping him in, and he taped it a lot tighter than Jack did it himself, which was a bit of a surprise - they were thick enough to force his legs at least partially apart, and when he sat up, and he crinkled and rustled like he was rolling around in a plastic bag when he moved._ _

__“Hey,” said Mark, and his voice was quiet as he reached out for Jack. “How you feeling, Jack?”_ _

__Jack kept his eyes down on his fingers, spread across his pale thighs._ _

__Mark put a cautious hand on Jack’s chin, and Jack looked up into Mark’s eyes._ _

__“Hi,” said Mark, and he pulled a silly face, which got Jack smiling._ _

__But he was… nothing seemed to be fitting, his skin was too tight, and he looked down again, trying to get his thoughts in order._ _

__“I don’t… I’m afraid you’re gonna laugh at me,” said Jack._ _

__His voice was higher pitched, more hesitant._ _

__“I’m not ever gonna laugh at you, unless you do something intentionally stupid,” said Mark, and his voice was very serious. “I mean it. I’d never laugh at you for being honest about a thing you want.”_ _

__“No?”_ _

__“I promise.”_ _

__“... okay,” said Jack. “But… what if this isn’t a thing I want?”_ _

__“Then you can go change, we can go watch a movie, or you can have time to yourself and I’ll have time to myself, and we can call it a night. Is that what you wanna do?”_ _

__“I wanna color,” Jack said. “And… watch some stuff. Nice stuff.”_ _

__“What kinda nice stuff?”_ _

__“Bosco?”_ _

__“Sure,” Mark said, and he helped Jack stand up, then grabbed the back of Jack’s diaper, pulling it up in the back._ _

__“What are you -”_ _

__“So it won’t sag,” said Mark._ _

__“Why would it -oh.”_ _

__Jack flushed, hard, and he pressed his face into Mark’s shoulder, clinging to Mark’s shirt._ _

__“Hey,” said Mark. “It’s okay.”_ _

__“Can I… can I have pants, please?”_ _

__“Sure,” said Mark. “But how about your jammies, since it’s getting kind of late?”_ _

__“Okay,” Jack said quietly._ _

__* * *_ _

__And now Jack was sitting on the floor in the living room, coloring in his coloring book, sucking on a binkie._ _

__Every time he shifted position, he’d hear the crinkle, and he was held tight and warm, cradled in cushy plastic._ _

__His eyes were getting heavy, and he leaned back against Mark’s legs, yawning widely, his pacifier dropping out of his mouth._ _

__“Hey buddy,” Mark said, and he brushed Jack’s hair off of his forehead. “How are you doing?”_ _

__Jack gave a thumbs up, then shoved his thumb into his mouth, pressing his face into Mark’s thigh to avoid eye contact._ _

__Mark’s big hand was on the back of his head, ruffling his hair, and then Mark was pulling his thumb out, gently, and replacing it with the pacifier._ _

__Jack spat the pacifier out, and grabbed for Mark’s hand, turning his face to the side and latching on to Mark’s thumb._ _

__Mark laughed - he sounded surprised - but he let Jack stay on, as Jack toothed it lightly, clinging to the material of Mark’s own pajama pants, as Mark’s other hand stroked across the short hairs on the back of his head._ _

__Jack’s eyes drifted shut, and he was lost in the cotton candy in his head and the low rumble of Mark’s voice, when the other man would comment on something or other on the television._ _

__Jack wasn’t really paying attention to anything, except the warmth, the softness, the taste of Mark’s thumb._ _

__And then he was pissing - pissing hard enough that it soaked into the padding of the diaper, and it was getting thicker, thick enough that Jack had to open his legs even wider._ _

__“You okay in there?”_ _

__“Mmm?”_ _

__Mark gently tapped Jack on the forehead._ _

__Jack let go of Mark’s thumb._ _

__“... ‘m wet,” Jack mumbled._ _

__“How wet are you?”_ _

__Jack blinked at him, uncomprehending._ _

__“Do you want a new one right now?”_ _

__Jack shrugged._ _

__“You’re the Little,” Mark said. “You get to call the shots.”_ _

__“You’re Big,” Jack said, his voice quiet. “I want.. I want you to call the shots.”_ _

__“Yeah?”_ _

__Jack nodded._ _

__“What do you want that to mean?”_ _

__Jack scrunched his face up, trying to think up a way to describe it._ _

__“I’m… I make the rules,” Jack said. “All the time. It’s my job. I’m my own boss, I do all my marketing, I do… you know, all of that.”_ _

__Mark nodded._ _

__“I don’t wanna be the one who does that. When I’m… when I’m like this, I wanna be a good boy. I wanna make you proud.”_ _

__“You’re a very good boy,” Mark assured him. “And… I’m not entirely comfortable taking control of everything, when we haven’t decided what everything is gonna be.”_ _

__Jack nodded._ _

__“Can you… can you call the shots about… you know, diaper stuff.” He blushed._ _

__“Okay,” said Mark. “Well, right now, I’m saying you’re getting a new diaper.”_ _

__Another nod, and Jack sucked on his own thumb, not moving._ _

__“That means I gotta get up, Jack,” Mark said, his tone teasing._ _

__Jack shook his head._ _

__Mark stood up, carefully, and he rested Jack’s head on the cushions of the couch, as Mark went off to do whatever it was he was gonna do._ _

__Jack didn’t care, cuddling up to one of the spare pillows on the couch._ _

__"That is disgustingly cute," said Mark._ _

__Jack sat up slowly, blinking sleepily at Mark, rubbing his eyes and stretching, his back arching and his hands over his head._ _

__The diaper was hot against his skin._ _

__"C'mere, Jackie boy," said Mark, and he patted the towel that he'd spread out on the floor of the living room._ _

__Jack crawled over, his pacifier back in his mouth. He sucked on it, letting the sensation of having something in his mouth soothe him._ _

__He lay back on the towel, twisting his hair around and around his fingers, fiddling with the hem of the towel, the hem of his shirt._ _

__Sometimes he forgot just how much _bigger_ Mark was - Mark just pulled his legs up, grabbing the waist of Jack's pajama pants, pulling them down and off. _ _

__"You peed a lot," Mark teased._ _

__"Sorry," Jack said quietly._ _

__"Don't be," said Mark. "You're a little guy. It's why I diapered you in the first place."_ _

__Jack blushed, and he covered his face with both hands._ _

__"It's okay," said Mark, and he patted Jack's tummy._ _

__Jack giggled._ _

__"So I'm gonna put you in a new one."_ _

__Jack nodded._ _

__Where was his head?_ _

__Was he Little? Was he... not?_ _

__He didn't know - he was floating in some weird space, and maybe he was kind of horny, except he wasn't sure, because he didn't know if he wanted to be sexual right now, and bringing that into it was just... it wasn't comfortable._ _

__He whined, covering his face with both hands._ _

__"Hey. Hey, what's wrong?"_ _

__Mark pressed closer, his chest pressed against Jack's._ _

__Jack stared up at Mark, all big blue eyes and long, dark eyelashes._ _

__"I... I think I like you," he told Mark, his tone serious._ _

__"I hope you like me!" Mark said. "I mean, you spend a lot of time with me, don't ya?"_ _

__"Nah, but like... like-like. You know?"_ _

__"I think so," said Mark._ _

__He sat up, and he was all business as he wiped down Jack's junk, even gently cleaning under Jack's foreskin, which was... uncomfortable, but probably a thing that needed to be done._ _

__Jack tried not to squirm._ _

__He was half hard, he was sleepy, and everything was going in different directions in his head._ _

__He shoved his thumb into his mouth, as Mark put a new diaper under him, powdering him up._ _

__When he was fully taped up, he patted his own chest._ _

__"What's up, buddy?"_ _

__"Lie on top of me," Jack said quietly. "Please?"_ _

__"I'll squash you flat," said Mark, his expression half teasing._ _

__"Please?" Jack pleaded._ _

__Mark crawled on top of him carefully, chest to chest, reaching over to grab Jack's hands in his own._ _

__The pressure was _heavenly_ , and Jack sighed, relaxing down into the floor._ _

__... and then he peed again, because of course he did._ _

__It seemed like if he was in headspace and also relaxing, he was going to piss himself._ _

__"Hi," Mark said quietly, and he rubbed noses with Jack._ _

__"Mark?"_ _

__Jack's voice was quiet._ _

__"Yeah?"_ _

__"I really want you to kiss me. But... not when I'm in headspace."_ _

__"Are you in headspace right now?"_ _

__"I don't know."_ _

__"Well, how about we have some ice cream, and I can tuck you in and read you a story, and when you're feeling like a grown up again, you can kiss me all you want?"_ _

__"Okay," Jack said, clinging to Mark's shirt._ _

__"Good boy," said Mark, and he kissed Jack's forehead._ _

__* * *_ _

__The ice cream was chocolate, and Jack only got some of it on his shirt._ _

__Mark laughed, cleaned him up, and then they were cuddling on the bed, watching a movie on Mark's tablet, as Jack snuggled up, sucking his thumb._ _

__"You're such a good boy, Jack," Mark said, and he kissed the top of Jack's head._ _

__Jack flushed, pressing his face into Mark's chest._ _

__Mark's chuckle rumbled through Jack's head like an earthquake._ _

__* * *_ _

__"Can I ask a weird question?"_ _

__It was two days later._ _

__It was also hot as fuck._ _

__Jack had been tempted to go into headspace, diaper himself up, but... no._ _

__With his sweating problem, he probably would combust like the bottom of a mulch pile._ _

__"Sure," said Jack._ _

__They were both sitting in the living room, in front of a fan._ _

__The air conditioning was broken, because of course it was._ _

__They were both shirtless - Mark in a pair of basketball shorts, Jack in an old pair of denim cutoffs._ _

__"So when you're Little, you're very... you're very quiet," said Mark. "Not that I'm complaining," he added quickly. "It's really cute. But it's a lot different from the way you normally are, and I was wondering why that might be?"_ _

__Jack stared up at the ceiling, his expression contemplative._ _

__"It's kinda... I sometimes feel like I've _got_ to be this energetic and bouncing off of the walls, right?"_ _

__"Right," said Mark, nodding._ _

__"So when I'm Little, I feel like I can just be... like, not myself, because part of myself is the ridiculous over the top energy, but sometimes it's nice to be a different part of myself."_ _

__"That makes sense," said Mark, nodding._ _

__"I still want to kiss you," Jack added, almost shyly, but fuck it._ _

__After a guy has literally cleaned under your foreskin, who even has the time to be embarrassed by something as... boring as kissing?_ _

__"Yeah?" Mark chuckled. "It's so hot. How do you want to even touch me?"_ _

__"You're always hot," Jack said, and he waggled his eyebrows._ _

__"Oh my god," Mark groaned, and he covered his face with both hands. "Are you fucking kidding me?!"_ _

__"Would I kid about something as serious as your smoking hot bod?"_ _

__Jack's expression was flat, stony._ _

__Mark burst out laughing, and he was reaching for Jack, and then Jack was reaching for him, and they were kissing each other._ _

__It wasn't very... good kissing - they bumped teeth, and then Mark's tongue was in Jack's mouth, and Jack's hands were going to Mark's hair, tangling it in his fingers, although it was sweaty enough that Jack was getting gross and sticky._ _

__But who cared, because he was being bodily pulled into Mark's lap, straddling Mark, and he was kissing along Mark's jaw, clumsily._ _

__The stubble was rough against his lips, and it was... weird, but he was pressed closer, and Mark's sweat was smearing across his chest, and Mark's hands were on his hips, then moving to his ass, squeezing it._ _

__"Oh," Jack groaned, and he rolled his hips forward, his cock thick and heavy in his pants, Mark's own dick prodding him in the ass. "Oh, fuck, Mark...."_ _

__"You want me to?"_ _

__"What?"_ _

__"Fuck you. Do you want me to fuck you?"_ _

__"I... I don't... I don't know if I'm ready for that yet," said Jack. "But... fuck, get your dick out, I've got an idea."_ _

__"That's a sentence," Mark snickered, pulling his pajama pants down, revealing his cock, thick and throbbing._ _

__The head was dark red, and Jack tried not to gawp at Mark's circumcision scar._ _

__He'd never seen a dick like that before._ _

__... admittedly, he hadn't seen many dicks in his life, but still._ _

__Jack fumbled his own jeans open, operating mostly on instinct (which instincts, he couldn't tell), and the fly opened like a butterfly, his cock hard and dripping down the shaft as he fished it out._ _

__"Shit," said Mark, and he laughed, a bit unsteadily._ _

__"What?" Jack stroked his cock, from the root to the tip, squeezing his tip gently._ _

__"You're... thicker than I'd thought you'd be," Mark admitted._ _

__"How much have you thought of my cock?"_ _

__"A decent amount of time," said Mark. He didn't even look ashamed._ _

__"Pervert," said Jack, and he shuffled forward, pressing their dicks together._ _

__He'd seen it done like this before, in a few of the gay pornos he'd watched._ _

__... he may have watched more gay pornos than he was willing to own up to, but Mark didn't need to know that._ _

__He wrapped his hand around their dicks, pressing them together, and he began to jerk his wrist, stroking their dicks together._ _

__"Oh, _fuck_ ," Mark groaned, and he bucked his hips._ _

__Jack held on tightly._ _

__"Oh, you're... this is amazing, holy fuck Jack, don't stop, please... fuck, Jack, you feel... this feels... you're so... good boy!"_ _

__Jack's cock throbbed like a rotten tooth, and Jack paused, staring down at his dick._ _

__"I felt that," said Mark, and he looked amused. "Do you like it when I call you a good boy?"_ _

__More throbbing._ _

__"Y-yeah," said Jack._ _

__"Do you want me to keep doing it?"_ _

__"I think... I think I like it when you say nice things to me in general," Jack said, his tone cautious._ _

__"Do you want me to keep doing it?"_ _

__"Oh, fuck yes," said Jack._ _

__His hands went to Mark's chest, which was mostly hairless, and he ran his fingers along it delicately, then paused, pressing down on Mark's nipples._ _

__Mark moaned, guttural, as if he'd been stabbed in the belly, and he rolled his hips forward._ _

__"Good boy, Jack, keep doing that, fuck, just like that, that's... that's what I like, oh _god_!"_ _

__Jack snickered a bit in spite of the circumstances, and began to twist and tug at Mark's nipples, then bit his lip, his eyes squeezing shut, as Mark did... something or other with his wrist, and his palm was rubbing against the head of Jack's cock, which was making more pre-cum pour out of Jack's dick, and it was making everything more slippery, until Jack's hips were stuttering forward, holding on tightly to his orgasm._ _

__"I'm gonna cum," Jack said. "I'm gonna cum, Mark, please, am I a good boy, can I cum, please please please?"_ _

__"Be a good boy," Mark panted, "be a good boy and cum for me, c'mon, cum all over my chest, be a good boy and cum so hard that you... fuck... Jack, I'm... I...."_ _

__Mark came first, across Jack's chest, shooting high enough that he got cum on Jack's arm, which was still stretched out to play with his nipples._ _

__Jack laughed, breathless, and Mark redoubled his efforts, using his own cum as lube before it would dry out, and then Jack was cumming, his eyes almost rolling back in his head, his toes curling against Mark's thighs as his hips went up and his hips stuttered forward._ _

__"Good... good boy," Mark mumbled, and then he made a disgusted noise, as Jack slumped forward._ _

__"Dude," Mark said, sounding disgusted, "you're getting cum all over me."_ _

__"You already had cum all over you," Jack mumbled, cuddling up to Mark, his head on Mark's shoulder. "I'm just spreading it around so it'll dry more equally."_ _

__"That is, like, the most disgusting thing I've ever heard," Mark mumbled._ _

__"I do my best," said Jack._ _

__Mark poked him in the side, gently, but he didn't try to get Jack to sit up again._ _

__* * *_ _

__"Can I ask a weird question?"_ _

__Mark was washing dishes that night._ _

__"What's up?"_ _

__Jack looked up from his phone._ _

__"I... I like the idea of being sexual with you. Like, while you're diapered. Not necessarily while you're being Little, but while... you know, if I could maybe diaper you some other times, when I just wanna diaper you."_ _

__"Do you particularly... like diapering me?"_ _

__"Yeah," said Mark, and he was blushing. "It's... it's nice. I like it a lot."_ _

__"Oh," said Jack, absorbing it._ _

__Truth be told, he had always worried that Mark was just kinda... putting up with the gross stuff._ _

__But apparently not._ _

__Huh._ _

__"So would that be okay... some time?"_ _

__"I think so," said Jack, slowly._ _

__"... I might have also bought you new diapers," said Mark, and he cleared his throat._ _

__"What, already?"_ _

__"Well, yeah," said Mark. "I've... I've been looking into it, and there's a bunch of really cute ones out there for adults."_ _

__"What kinda cute ones did you get me?"_ _

__"They're called space diapers," said Mark. "Maybe... I'll put you in one. Soon."_ _

__Jack nodded._ _

__"Fair enough," he said, and went back to his phone._ _

__* * *_ _

__So Mark diapered Jack a few times._ _

__The problem… well, the main problem was that diapering Jack just kinda sent him straight into headspace, which wasn’t a problem, per se, but it meant that sex was off the table._ _

__Mark didn’t seem too bothered by it - he’d diaper Jack, Jack would descend into the realm of cotton candy and drooling, and the two of them would have a good evening._ _

__It wasn’t until about two months later that Jack found himself more or less his usual self, as he lay flat on his back, his legs wide open, as Mark carefully taped him into the blue plastic._ _

__“Mark?”_ _

__“What’s up, buddy?”_ _

__Mark was using his caretaker voice._ _

__Jack held onto his adult headspace, stubborn to the end._ _

__“I want kisses,” he said, and he reached out for Mark._ _

__Mark leaned in, kissing Jack chastely on the stomach._ _

__Jack giggled, but shook his head, tapping his own lips._ _

__Mark raised an eyebrow, but he leaned in, crawling on top of Jack, so that they were belly to belly and chest to chest again._ _

__Jack was already getting hard - what would it be like, if Mark just fucked him like this?_ _

__He groaned, and he grabbed for Mark, kissing him._ _

__Mark kissed him back, and they clung to each other, as Jack began to hump against Mark’s front._ _

__“Oh, god,” Mark mumbled, and he pressed his forehead against Jack’s, resting his weight on top of Jack so as to not crush the smaller man. “Oh… fuck.”_ _

__Jack moaned, humping in earnest - his cock was trapped in the thick, cushy diaper, and it crinkled whenever he moved, but that made it… moreso._ _

__It was a bit like tease and denial - no matter how hard he tried to get more stimulation, nothing happened._ _

__But Mark was definitely feeling something - he was pitching quite the tent in his jeans, and he was wriggling his hips, pushing the hardness of his cock against the thickness of the diaper._ _

__“Such a good boy,” Mark murmured, kissing along Jack’s neck. “You gonna cum? Does that feel good? How’s that, baby boy?”_ _

__“‘S… good,” Jack mumbled, his eyes fluttering closed._ _

__“Good,” said Mark, his voice ragged._ _

__He was beginning to pant, his face turning red. He grabbed Jack’s hips, pulling him closer, and then they were dick to dick… sort of._ _

__Jack’s dick was in an odd position, and it was beginning to get tender, to rub against the padding, but it was worth it, to watch Mark’s face as Mark just ground forward, his thrusting getting more erratic._ _

__“Fuck, I’ve wanted this so badly,” he panted. “Oh fuck, Jack, I’m… oh, _Jack_!” _ _

__Mark came in his jeans._ _

__Full on creamed his jeans, and then he was grabbing between them, rubbing Jack’s cock through the diaper, and he was concentrating on the head, which got Jack shuddering and shaking, his hips rocking forward._ _

__He came into the diaper, and it was sticky, dribbling around his cock, leaving him a sticky, sticky mess, but he didn’t care, because he was being pinned down by Mark, and that was… excellent, exactly what he needed._ _

__“There we go,” said Mark. “Such a good boy.”_ _

__Jack blushed, and he yawned._ _

__“Did you really cum in your pants?”_ _

__“Shush,” said Mark, looking embarrassed._ _

__Jack kept cackling._ _

__Mark rolled his eyes and pinched Jack in the side._ _

__* * *_ _

__Jack fell asleep._ _

__He didn’t know why - he wasn’t usually one to just drowse and nap at the drop of a hat, but for some reason, after the orgasm, he was drowsing._ _

__He was also slipping back into his Little headspace, his thumb going into his mouth, and he curled up on the bed, barely noticing when his bladder let go, and he was peeing again._ _

__“Hey,” said Mark, and he kissed Jack’s temple. “I’m gonna go take a shower.”_ _

__Jack gave a thumbs up._ _

__“You up for talking, sweetie?”_ _

__Jack gave a thumbs up._ _

__“Such a good boy.” Another kiss._ _

__Jack nodded, drowsy._ _

__The last thing he noticed was Mark pulling a blanket over him._ _

__The space diapers were really impressive - he peed a decent amount, and he was still more or less dry, against his skin._ _

__* * *_ _

__He woke up, fully in headspace, and he rolled over, to find a big plushie pressed up next to him._ _

__It was white, and the fur was soft._ _

__He wrapped his arms around it, nuzzling into the soft fur, and then he was falling asleep again, wrapping his whole body around it._ _

__The synthetic fur smelled slightly dusty, and it was comforting, reaching back into some far off childhood memory and cuddling him like a winter coat._ _

__His fingers were still buried in the polar bear’s fur when he fell back asleep._ _

__* * *_ _

__He was woken up by Mark getting back onto the bed, on the side without the polar bear._ _

__“Oh, so you met Snowy!”_ _

__Mark was grinning he was newly showered, shirtless, in a pair of pajama pants._ _

__Jack nodded, sucking on his pacifier, and he reached out for Mark, hooking his fingers into the waistband of Mark’s pants, since there wasn’t a shirt for him to cling to._ _

__“Do you like him?”_ _

__Another nod._ _

__“What do you need right now, buddy?”_ _

__Jack let his pacifier fall out of his mouth._ _

__“You,” he told Mark, and he yawned, pulling Mark closer, so that he was sandwiched between warm, damp skin and soft, dry fur._ _

__“I can provide that,” Mark said, his tone agreeable._ _

__He kissed the top of Jack’s head, and he cuddled up to him, his chin on Jack’s shoulder._ _

__Jack let his eyes drift closed again, his mind still full of sweet cotton candy._ _

**Author's Note:**

> Like this fic? Check out my tumblr, theseusinthemaze.tumblr.com!


End file.
